Entrepreneur Profile: Padraig O’ Sullivan of ParadeRing.ie

Without a doubt, all things entrepreneurial are in vogue in these recessionary times. The new mantra seems to be Do It Yourself; if you’ve got a great idea, run with it. Online businesses are an area of exceptional growth and the internet has opened up a world of business opportunities to its vast audience, including you and me. The old fashioned image of the slick entrepreneur, suited, booted and greying is no longer dominant. With online business you can reach a worldwide market from your sitting room while still in your pyjamas (optional of course) and young entrepreneurs are making their mark big time. 

Yet having said all that there’s something quite intimidating about seizing an idea, taking risks and becoming an entrepreneur. Studenty spoke to entrepreneur, Padraig O’Sullivan, for some inspiration, motivation and wise words! Padraig is the founder and managing director of ParadeRing.ie, online thoroughbred catalogue for buying and selling horses with an overall aim to “make the buying and selling of Irish racehorses easier and more convenient for all parties involved”. It has been described as “a very welcome addition to the equine industry” and despite the recession the business continues to grow.  

Most importantly the business has enabled Padraig to fulfil his ambition of working with horses and as the saying goes: “If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.” 

What is Parade Ring?

A website for buying and selling thoroughbred racehorses. It allows horse trainers and breeders advertise their horses for sale by uploading all their horse’s details including pictures, pedigree and videos. Buyers can then view the horses from the comfort of their home or office and find the ones most suited to them.

How did you decide on creating the business?

I loved horses and horse racing from a young age and was always interested in starting my own business so I wanted to work at something I loved doing.

How did you make the idea a reality? What were the first steps you took to get the idea off the ground?

I started talking to trainers and breeders around Cork to find out what their main problems were and found that selling their horses was their most pressing problem. They were complaining about the high costs of going to the sales and so I came up with the idea from talking to them and then went about researching the idea. I researched the market and put together a business plan to see if the idea would be viable.

What did you study in college?

Business Information Systems (BIS) and a Postgrad Dip in Economics of Business Practice, both in UCC.

How did the course prepare you for starting this business?

BIS gave me a good insight into computers and IT in business while the postgrad was geared around starting your own business where we actually had to setup one on campus.

What resources or tools did you find most helpful when you were getting started?

Business Plan templates were good as they get you to focus on all the key issues and questions you need to find the answers, to see if it there is a market for the idea and if it could work. Read as much as you can and you’ll find a lot of free stuff online to help you.

What ideas did you consider but reject, and why?

I considered creating a horse management system but trainers and breeders weren’t interested in it and it had already been done. There is no point in creating a great product if nobody will use it, so find out what your customers need and want first.

What were your biggest mistakes, or biggest wastes of time/money?

Spending too much time on developing the website and not making enough mistakes fast enough! The more mistakes you make, the more you learn what doesn’t work, and so you learn faster. Keep trying new stuff because you won’t know it will work until you try it.

What have been your key marketing lessons learned?

Know your audience. For example my customers wouldn’t be the biggest Facebook users so it’s better focusing my marketing in other places. It’s important to get to know what your customers use and don’t use so you can focus on the key areas that will get your message across to them. Try as many things as possible to see which works best with your customers.

If you were to do it all over again, what would you do differently?

Get it to market faster and get more customer feedback as quickly as possible. 

What’s next?

At the moment we are focused on growing in the Irish and English markets but then we will focus on expanding to other European countries.

What is your website address?

www.paradering.ie - check it out!

So, if you’re feeling inspired and happen to be attending NUI Galway, EXPLORE is an exciting new opportunity for NUI Galway students to see their innovative project ideas come to life. It is a great way to take the first steps to your entrepreneurial destiny. Students are encouraged to team up with staff members to develop new projects to change the campus. A prize of up to €1,000 worth of funding is available for the winning team to help make the dream a reality.

The first application deadline was January 27 but applications are still being taken. For more details and to download the application form, check out:

http://www.nuigalway.ie/bright-ideas/explore.html

Fracking

 Clare County Council takes a stand against fracking:

http://www.thejournal.ie/poll-should-we-ban-fracking-in-ireland-324474-Jan2012/?utm_source=facebook&mid=5762

Women and chrildren trapped in Domestic Violence

The recession has trapped women and children into domestic violence by reducing their options to escape abuse. Women’s Aid today described it as: “one of the greatest scandals of modern day Ireland”. 

Amid ongoing speculation of child benefit cuts the upcoming budget is a source of deep concern for Women’s Aid. Its impact on Women’s Aid vital services will affect and the ability of the sector to continue to help women and children experiencing domestic violence.

“For many women who call Women’s Aid, protecting their children is a constant worry. The recession has greatly reduced options for women experiencing domestic violence”, said Women’s Aid director, Mary Martin.
She added “with many reporting that they have become more trapped in the violent relationship. It is heartbreaking to listen to women who, with their children, are living in a state of fear”.

The government are being called upon to acknowledge the link between child abuse and domestic violence and make changes in new child protection structures and reviews of Family Law and domestic violence legislation.

“The Government needs to apply the best practice principle of protecting the child through the protection and support of the non-abusive parent. This principle needs to be acknowledged and reflected in any new child protection structures and in any review of Family Law and domestic violence legislation,” Said Ms Martin.

This new scandal for Ireland was addressed today at the launch of the 16 Days of Action, a global campaign that highlights gender violence. Just some of the experiences of abuse by women and children who call on Women’s Aid for help were described at the launch.

 “I don’t know where this will all end. I can’t believe that even after all I’ve been through to stop him abusing me and the children that I still have to meet him every week, listen to him shouting at the children and telling me that he might not bring them back this time,” said Elizabeth, a caller to Women’s Aid.

She added “One weekend he didn’t let the kids call me all weekend and at 8 on Sunday there was still no sign of him. I tried calling him and there was no answer from his mobile or from the house. My heart was pounding when at 9 I called the Gardaí, they couldn’t find him at the house and eventually at 11 he arrived back with them. The children were all crying.”

It is the only free, national, domestic violence helpline with specialised trained staff and a Language line facility for callers needing interpreting services.

Women’s Aid National Free phone Helpline (1800 341 900)

www.womensaid.ie 

 Women’s Aid, Everton House, 47 Old Cabra Road, Dublin 7.

ENDS

Campus Hit by Spate of Pick-Pocket Type Thefts

Published in the Galway City Tribune on 18 November 2011


NUI Galway has been hit by a spate of personal thefts, with 15 wallets and purses reported stolen from the environs of the campus on a single day.


The pickpocket-style thefts are understood to have occurred in daylight hours in the vicinity of University Road and Gardaí have warned students to stop "making themselves targets" by not closing their backpacks properly.

The victims of the crimes have been students of NUI Galway and have been pre-dominantly female, according to the Garda and security at the University which have both received complaints in relation to the thefts.

Head of security at NUI Galway Gerry Nolan has issued advice to students following the spate of thefts. "Most incidents involved money secured in the pockets of backpacks worn over the shoulder and out of sight," he said.

"Students should remains vigilant, refrain from storing items of value in bags that are not completely out of sight and report any incidents of theft to the Garda directly."

A spokesperson for the Garda advised students to be "more careful about the manner in which they secure their belongings". Students should prevent "making themselves targets by no closing their backpacks properly", he added.

There have been no arrests in connection with to date, however gardaí are carrying out ongoing patrols of the area.

Mr. Nolan said that the University had only ever experienced incidents of theft on this scale in the form of bicycle thefts.

18 Nov 2011

by Jessica Thompson and Louise France

Beyond the fake snow and glitter Christmas hope shines through

Image:www.irishtimes.com

Christmas draws nearer and politicians gather to sing for a better Ireland. In the midst of the difficulties of life in Ireland, Christmas may bring a much needed glitter of hope.

This weekend our politicians gathered together to record what they hope to be Ireland’s Christmas number one. This is not an attempt to sing their way back into our favour but to raise much needed funds and awareness for suicide in Ireland.  

As the Christmas period is almost upon us this endeavour reminds us that Christmas can be a particularly hard time for people. Physically the weather is difficult for all especially the elderly. Yet beyond the harsher winters we’re experiencing, emotions are heighted at Christmas time. Joy, excitement, love but also sadness, loneliness and grief come to the forefront at emotional times like Christmas. It is estimated that over the Christmas period the Samaritans will take a call every six seconds. "It's a difficult time, especially for those who have lost someone close, for the elderly living alone and for people living far away form their own families, including those working here from abroad", according to a spokesperson for the charity.

However, a recent study has shown that perhaps Christmas is in fact a hopeful time. The comprehensive study analysing Irish suicide rates, spanning over 20 years, has found that December has the lowest suicide rate of all months. While the seasonal effect on suicide rates has been much debated perhaps there is more to Christmas than commercialism.


Is it possible that under the garish advertising there is still something about Christmas that lifts the human spirit for even a fleeting moment?

We are bombarded by movies, programmes, music and advertisements pushing a picture perfect Christmas, so far from reality they are almost laughable. A happy family ice skate their way across a frozen lake; against all odds long lost loved ones make it home just in time for Christmas; and kids catch Santa putting presents under the tree. Pure. Marketing. Magic.

 At times it’s too much for even the most die-hard Christmas fan but if we strip away all the glitter and fake snow more often than not the Christmas miracle isn’t a result of Santa’s magical elves. When it comes down to it the magic of Christmas is a human creation.

Christmas is a time when many people go that extra mile. For some a Christmas miracle is turning out a delicious homemade pudding prepared and cooked during the weeks building up to the big day; visiting an elderly relative; or catching up with a school friend who they haven’t seen in ten years.

Image:www.mahalo.com

Eleven months of the year life is lonely and isolated for so many people. Christmas is no different but at some level the barriers we put around ourselves are reduced. We identify with each other on a local and national scale through the shared experience of Christmas

Making visits to family and neighbours is a ritual which is rapidly disappearing from Irish culture. In the past visiting was a huge part of the daily and weekly routine for people. Whether that meant keeping an eye on an elderly neighbour, or bringing kids to see their cousins, it just doesn’t happen as often today. Yet at Christmas without fail people will put a tin of roses in a Christmas bag and make the connection which there is “no time” for during the rest of the year.

Gift giving dominates the Christmas agenda. There is much criticism of consumer culture around Christmas. Conor Pope gave five tips on having a cheaper Christmas on Today FM recently. His final tip included ringing a friend and saying “Let’s not buy each other Christmas presents this year”. While cost saving measures most definitely need to be advocated this is an example of extreme Scrooge-itis.

Instead of stamping out gift giving altogether it might be beneficial to advocate supporting local businesses in the process of finding just the right gift for a loved one this Christmas.

So many Irish people are taking the bad economic circumstances by the antlers and setting up stalls in farmers markets. The Christmas market scene in Ireland is growing. From Galway to Dublin to Cork and everywhere in between Christmas markets will be firmly in place this year. While in affluent times a trip to Dublin on a shopping spree was the norm, just because times have changed it doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy a Christmas spend. Instead of hitting the high street for all Christmas needs, gather friends or family or just yourself and soak up the Christmas markets. Warm up with a hot chocolate or mulled wine and find unique stocking fillers while supporting local artisans.

“The gift is in the giving” may be a cliché but every year you hear people saying things like “I just love giving presents” or “I can’t wait to see the kids’ faces light up”. Giving gifts brings us a feel good factor on a scale we don’t experience at any other time. Giving is in our nature and at Christmas we get to use gift giving as a gesture of kindness to those around us from a co-worker to a lover.

We use Santa Claus as a ruse to spoil children we love and extend the process into adulthood with the exchange of secret Santa gifts or simply the open exchange on Christmas morning.

Image:www.google.ie

Like it or not Christmas brings out a little magic and little miracles do exist. Maybe not the flying with Santa and his reindeer’s Hollywood style miracle but more the miracle of connecting with an old friend or finally getting the Christmas lights untangled after five pain staking hours while four children eagerly trawl through a cardboard box for last year’s shiny red tinsel.

So this year whether it’s giving a piece of Christmas cake to the man next door; singing your heart out in the Christmas choir; or against all odds getting home to see family on Christmas Day, go that extra mile. You never know the uplifting effect it might have.

Review: The Hypnotic Brass Ensemble put pizazz into Cork's Jazz weekend

Image:www.maldronhotels.com

The Hypnotic Brass ensemble wooed The Pavillion audience with rhythmic sounds and rhythmic moves, truly earning their title: hypnotic.

Dressed in brilliant white they swaggered on stage adorned with their shiny brass instruments. Coming straight from a gig at The Savoy they were far from tired. They were high energy, connecting with the crowd immediately as if it was their home town; proudly declaring that “Cork has the best looking women”. Although Corkonians are known for their modesty this Cork crowd had to concede, these Chicago boys obviously have taste.

Their physical connection to their music was fluid and natural. They danced and played in an awesome effortlessness; hips moving in time.

Building up to a crescendo a cacophony of brass engulfed the air creating electric vibe. They played their most famous piece "War" which recently featured on The Jools Holland Show. It felt as if they could not get any higher but this was only the beginning. Reacting to their audience they sensed the party atmosphere of the jazz weekend and asked if we wanted to hear some cool jazz tunes to “have a couple of glasses of wine to” or something a little more “party”. I don’t need to tell you in which direction it went. A delicious combination of dynamic tunes, rap and beat box followed. There was intermittent crowd surfing, items of clothing were lost (mostly theirs) and a bottle of Jameson appeared on stage. Worn draped across a bare chest, the tuba has never looked so stylish.

 A hot and sweaty crowd sang “ole,ole,ole,ole,ole” and “one more tune” while the band said their goodbyes but they didn’t have to begfor long. The desire for an encore was quickly satisfied.  Without a doubt the women of Cork wanted to be with them and the men wanted to be them. On the charisma scale they were through the roof and their music thrilling.

In essence the Hypnotic Brass Ensemble brought more than a touch of Chicago cool to Cork’s jazz weekend!

Norris' fall from grace

Image: www.ibtimes.com

Just four and a half weeks before the election the polls showed him to be a legitimate threat to the ultimately victorious Michael D Higgins’s in the race for the Aras. So why was a candidate who  fought side by side with Mary Robinson to decriminalise homosexuality, travelled the world with his one man show James Joyce and even ran a temple bar club attended by Elton John and Freddie mercury left so far behind in the poll? 

After failing to reach the quota necessary to claim back expenses incurred over the course of the campaign Senator David Norris is set to lose his “life savings”. Although Mary Davis, Gay Mitchell and Dana Rosemary Scallon also failed to reach the quota of 12.5%, none have experienced such a public fall from grace as the Senator. 

Rocked by the scandal of the clemency letters and claims of social welfare fraud the Senator suffered a campaign of extraordinary highs and lows. In the end his passionate fight for the presidency could not stem the gradual disintegration of the trust of the Irish people. 

The lead up to polling day saw the presidential candidate fight for the student vote. The Thursday election day is a constant source of controversy for students. The Senator addressed this very issue during his visit to NUI Galway. Norris voiced his disappointment at the decision to have polling on a Thursday and speculated that it is a deliberate attempt to alienate the student vote. “I think that is a great pity and I think that is done deliberately to keep young people like you from voting.” 

Yet, perhaps, irrespective of this voting obstacle the damage to his reputation had been done. The same day a young student expressed her vehement disapproval and disillusionment at the claims that he committed social welfare fraud. The student who refused to shake the presidential candidates hand charged him with having been wrongfully in receipt of disability allowance.

The senator clearly corrected the false accusation: “I never got a disability allowance ever.” In reality it was “an income continuity insurance scheme” which was in place in Trinity College where he taught for 30 years.  On contracting hepatitis from water on an official trip to Budapest the Senator began drawing from the scheme when it was decided that he could not continue teaching. He was acting as a cultural ambassador at the time. Despite these efforts the young girl turned her back on the senator having refused his hand for the second time.

Image:www.google.ie/images

In UCC the senator addressed a crammed lecture theatre of students ranging from commerce, arts and science. Speaking passionately the charismatic speaker addressed a broad range of issues in his usual eloquent manner which we have become so accustomed. He spoke of the referenda, women’s rights, and the “concerted effort” which was made to exclude him from the ballot paper. He reiterated a mantra from his campaign that he was the “only 24 carrot independent”. He later added:  “with me you get the full house.”

He spoke of his human rights work, of his passion for Ireland and everything in between. The speech was decorated with tales such as his encounters with Freddie Mercury and Elton John at the gay community centre/“discothèque” he ran in temple bar: “I admit I was the one who took a bottle of champagne from Elton John’s helper. I didn’t know who he was. I asked Freddie Mercury for his membership card.”

Yet on finishing, the student host thanked him for an “entertaining speech”, a remark which did not sit well with the senator: “I hope it was more than entertaining.” The charisma which is so lacking from Irish politics in general may well have led to his demise in the polls. Entertaining isn’t generally a term applied to the presidency of Ireland.

Although Senator David Norris is no longer in the glare of the presidency spotlight, the struggles of his campaign both financial and emotional will colour his thoughts and his future. For now senator, in the words of James Joyce “Your battles inspired me - not the obvious material battles but those that were fought and won behind your forehead.”

Norris Slams Alienation of Student Vote

The Thursday election day is a constant source of controversy for students. However,students of NUI Galway have indicated that they will be making a concerted effort to vote in the upcoming presidential election.Over half of those survey said they will be voting on Thursday.

 Presidential candidate Senator David Norris addressed this very issue during his visit to NUI Galway this week. Norris voiced his disappointment at the decision to have polling on a Thursday and speculated that it is a deliberate attempt to alienate the student vote.

“I think that is a great pity and I think that is done deliberately to keep young people like you from voting.” While the Thursday polling does exclude students to an extent in a recent survey students voiced their belief that it is important that they do make the effort. Morgan, an 18 year old student from Cavan said he will vote “because I can and have to have my say”.

While students showed a preference to vote some expressed disillusionment about the election. Sarah, also 18 and from Mayo doesn’t believe in the presidency, “it’s a facade”.  

Earlier this month it was revealed that Michael D Higgins is the favourite among third level students. The poll of 1,962 students showed the presidential candidate as student preference. Speaking to students just last week Michael D Higgins remains firmly in the student body consciousness. 

Hanna Devine, 19 and from Dublin cited her reason for voting for him because “he is the safe one”. Other students including Mary from Mayo will be voting for him for him because “he is really cute”.

Whatever the outcome one thing is clear: regardless of the Thursday vote this election has got students talking.  

The Vampire effect

Image from:http://teaser-trailer.com/movie/twilight-2-new-moon/

Vampire fiction has been a part of culture for centuries. Through myths, folklore and literature, vampirism has forged a firm niche in popular entertainment. Particularly since Irish man Abraham "Bram" Stoker brought us the terrifying and thrilling Dracula; vampires have waned in and out of fashion while retaining their place in the public consciousness.

In recent years films such as The Lost Boys, Fright Night and Interview with a Vampire, to name but a few have seen great success. The feisty vampire slayer Buffy who adorned our screens from 1997-2003 reached a huge audience, bringing vampire fiction into the noughties. Yet lately vampirism has reached a “tipping point” and dominates all levels of popular entertainment. True Blood, The Vampire Diaries and need I mention The Twilight Saga heralds an unprecedented surge in vampire fans (or fanatics!)

Twilight being the “saga” it is deserves particular attention. The last film Eclipse (2010) earned a domestic total gross of $300,531,751 and is but a drop in the ocean of the mounting mega profit that the brand is making. Indeed, this is an example of the relationship between capitalism and film making at its peak. There is an overwhelming desire to start ranting about the down right disgraceful standardisation of culture which surrounds us. Yet I’m going to quell it and admit right here and now I’m a fan: I’ve read the books, I‘ve seen the films and will go to see the final two.

 And yes, I really do get the Robert Pattinson attraction. There was a time when I wouldn’t have admitted that but since last Christmas when someone kindly mortified me by getting me a Twilight/Robert Pattinson annual I said to myself: what’s the point hiding it, I’m obviously not doing a good job of it. With websites and fan pages to cater for all ages there is no disputing the popularity of Twilight across the board. You’ve got:www.twighlightmoms.com;www.bellaandedward.com;www.twilightfansite.net; www.edwardsmeadow.com; www.twilightanaoymous.com; and a million more. However, don’t be fooled by that last one, they won’t help you’re addiction, they’ll feed it. According to their motto, “we don’t want a cure”. In an attempt to over take the plethora of fan sites and official site has been established - www.twilighttimecapsule.com - where ordinary people can use our “personal memories” to become “part of Twilight saga history”.

The vampirism of True Blood conveys the usual issues of desire, identity, alienation, intemperance in such a liberated way one almost blushes when viewing. The sexual liberation of the petite but powerful Sooki Stackhouse is a huge part of the show. Buffy was also a strong female character actively pursuing and killing vampires yet these defiant and strong females stand in stark contrast with Bella Swan, the leading lady of Twilight. Through Bella we see a reaffirmation of patriarchal social structure. Her own inner narrative along with the surrounding actions of others situates her as powerless. In the second film New Moon her weakness is portrayed as she has a full scale mental breakdown, gets lost in the woods and has to be rescued yet again by more men.

This traditional damsel in distress routine is further amplified through Edward’s “traditional” values. So traditional, in fact, that he goes against all we know about vampires and sex and refuses to do the deed until he’s made an honest woman out of her. Despite Bella’s inner cringes, she and Edward take the most old fashioned route to an extraordinary life. Yet even post marriage they can’t just enjoy their desire for each other, why? because she’s pregnant within five minutes( I really hope I haven’t ruined the ending for anyone! but I’m presuming most of ye have seen the trailers)  All in all Bella is nearer to the virtuous damsels corrupted by predatory Dracula style characters than a modern representation of female sexuality today. Yet in Twilight even our leading male vampire is watered down, old fashioned and a bit of a prude.

Image from:josepherdon.blogspot.com

But why are we so obsessed? Is it because vampirism lends us an escape into another world of sexual freedom, excitement, and rejection of the societal conforms of daily life? Or is it because more and more vampirism plays on our fears and insecurities? Bella Swan’s obsession with ageing is a constant narrative as she pesters any willing vampire to change her so she can remain forever a teenager like her perfect, sparkling boyfriend. We are increasingly being told our bodies are not perfect enough and our skin isn’t young enough yet on screen we see the perfect albeit fictional solution to all these problems: become a vampire. Vampires don’t have to worry about wrinkles and guaranteed they don’t have cellulite.

In any case keep you’re garlic and holy water handy, or, if vampires are as hot as they are in the movies maybe ditch the slayer paraphernalia and crack open a Tru-Blood (www.trubeverage.com) instead!

 

A few Vampire films should you wish to stray beyond Twilight this Halloween:

-Dracula (1931)

-The Lost Boys (1987)

-Fright Night (1985) or (2011)

-Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles  (1994)

-Blade (1998)

Thefts on University Road

Image:www.flicker.com

Last week 15 wallets and purses were stolen in the NUI Galway area. The incidents occurred off campus on University Road yet the targets were students of the college. The thefts took place during daylight hours and victims were predominantly female.

Gerry Nolan, head of Security at NUI Galway stated that the only other incidents of thefts on this scale has been bicycle thefts, “We have experienced bicycle theft to a similar degree but no other repeatable offences in such a short time frame so close to University premises”.

Despite the large number of thefts only two in total were officially reported to Gardaí. As the incidents took place off campus all aspects of the investigation were handed over to Gardaí. Security services have provided them with all pertinent information and will continue to aid the investigation.

 There have been no incidents reported this week. Gardaí are conducting regular patrols of the University Road area.

Gardaí confirmed today that there are currently no suspects for the thefts. If anyone has any information relating to the incidents contact Mill street Garda Station on +353 91 538000 or the Garda confidential line 1800 666 111.

Des Bishop-review

Image:www.watoday.com

O’Flaherty Theatre, 19/09/2011

      As droves of students piled into the O’Flaherty theatre on Monday night, the air of anticipation was tangible. There was a clear sense that this gig was a prelude to the antics of the night which would follow later. One thing was absolutely certain: this crowd wanted to laugh, they were eager to be entertained and Mr Des Bishop certainly delivered. Welcomed on stage by the sound of hundreds of hands beating desks, Des must have sensed it was going to be a good show.

     The room was full to the brim with people who he described as a “comedy gift from Heaven”.  Being Freshers’ week, first years were everywhere. Within minutes one such gift was discovered right under his nose. A fresher from Ballygar was the source of a litany of jokes: from his B.I.S degree, which in his words was like a BCom degree with a “bit” of I.T (a description which Des referred to as like having a little “bit” of salt with your chips), to the necessity to find him a good camogie playing partner with whom to create a bright GAA future for Ballygar! This poor bloke provided Des with inspiration the whole way through! On the upside Des kindly obliged him by introducing him to some lovely girls. These poor girls were hauled from the back as penalty for their late arrival, recreating that cringe-worthy moment when you’re late for mass and some well-meaning individual “kindly” points out a couple of seats free up front. Suddenly all eyes are on you as you plod red faced up the aisle!

     Entertaining a crowd of young impressionable college students, Des was aware of the unique opportunity to pass on some hard earned wisdom from his time in college. Arts students, he proclaimed should prepare for one question that would define the rest of their college days and beyond, “And what exactly do you hope to do with that? Become a librarian?” Yet more importantly, a real pearl of wisdom which should adorn the Freshers’ packs of all colleges, “Sex is not like the C.A.O, there’s no change of mind form!” While we were initially eased into what was to be a rightly entertaining hour (and a bit) there was one thing that Des really wanted to talk about: His balls. 

     Yep, that’s right balls! Dressed in navy skinny jeans and blue shirt Des was certainly looking well. Indeed he looked the picture of health, which says a lot about his balls. “Men’s health” was the clear theme to the show, so Des told us the story of how his two balls suddenly became one ball. How one ball lost his best friend and how the landscape of Des’ manhood (later eloquently referred to as “wrinkled turkey gizzard sack of love!”) changed for life. At the ripe old age of 24, Des found a lump on one of his testicles. After a consultation with a good friend who had been cured of the same disease and coercing an even better friend to firstly examine his own balls and then examine Des’ balls (yes, it was apparently very awkward!), Des decided that it was time to get sorted. The operation was a total success and today Des could be a pin up for men’s health promotion. Despite an offer from the surgeon, his remaining ball’s best friend could not be replaced by a silicone substitute but Des sufficiently reassured us that everything is in perfect working order! So guys check your balls! (Preferably in private, this doesn’t licence you to walk around with your hands down your pants!)

     Des’ comedy flowed very naturally. He seemed to enjoy the gig almost as much as the audience. He kept the crowd laughing by leaping from men’s health, to men’s grooming habits (down there!) and female over use of fake tan, resulting in what looks like “the shroud of Turin” on the bed sheets the morning after! The serious message of men’s health promotion was punctuated with hilarious moments like the “comedy lapdance” he gave to a girl who’s red hair brought out the Gaeilge in him. Honestly, I’ll certainly never think about Irish in the same way. I never thought I’d hear the words “An bhfuil tú fluiche anois?” I guess that’s the joy of a Des Bishop gig: he’s a comedian, an entertainer, a human beat box and he really gives a damn about his audience.

     Testicular cancer wasn’t the only men’s health topic on the agenda. He gave a prophetic warning to the all the men in the audience that at some stage their manhood might refuse to “perform”, particularly when they might need it most. The taboo topic of erectile problems was thrown out there so if or when that day arrives, the men of Ireland will know it’s not unusual and it’s no big deal. Oh and by the way girls, be assured it’s nothing to do with us so never utter the words “what’s wrong with me?” because Des has confirmed 100% that the answer is nothing at all!

     So if that moment should befall you, don’t panic! There’s nothing wrong with either of you and hey, if all else fails, Des tells us there’s a “reset button” but I’ll allow ye to ponder over that one...